Modesty Redefined

“Clothes do not make the woman, they may when taken to extremes, leave clues that expose inner areas of insecurity and vulnerability. It’s not in the dressing to the standards of those she works with or even worships with but as she pursues personal holiness that a woman will discover that God helps her determine where her wardrobe should have boundaries.
“Boundaries of personal holiness are determined by the condition of your heart toward God and how you feel you should represent him” – (Excerpt from God’s leading Lady by T.D Jakes)So what then is modesty and to be precise, Biblical modesty? In an attempt to answer this, I have put together different portions of scripture and thoughts of people in the Christian faith.It is important to point out that often times, the expressions of our lifestyle are predicated on the abundance of our hearts.That said, modesty is the outward expression of inner purity.

Meggie Cotonethal points out the dual use of the Greek word kosmios (modest or respectable) in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Timothy 3:2. It means orderliness and propriety in women in 1 Timothy 2:9, and in 1 Timothy 3:2 implores respectable and good behavior in men. She smartly observes, “Modesty is not just a woman’s issue, and our Enemy delights in the fact that we think it is.”“What a woman should wear or not wear is a matter of a woman’s conscience before the Lord.”

Dawn Wilson in her book,7 Things the Bible Says about Your Clothes, Men are not off the hook, here either. She also notes, “Modesty is not anti-fashion; it’s pro-adornment in godly ways (1 Timothy 2:8).The question for Paul isn’t about whether a woman should ornament her body, but how
a term encompasses not just clothing, but one’s whole demeanor, attitude, and actions.“Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still defining their worth by their outward adornment. So then this calls us to an inward look at ourselves.

Kevin DeYoung writes, “being pretty (or handsome) is not a sin, working to improve your appearance does not have to be vanity, the line between modest and immodest is not always black and white -we are still left with the undeniable biblical fact that God considers modesty a virtue and it’s opposite a vice.”

In conclusion, modesty begins on the inside (our attitudes, beliefs, actions and where we draw each of these from). Modesty is not just a matter of clothing but an entire expression of our walk with God. Maybe then, the goal is to have our entire lives and their different facets fully represent Christ – in that our light may shine to the world and draw men to Him.

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Faith over fear

I knew my strength was in my voice – but I was afraid to speak,like anyone else – like most of us.
“What if its not good enough?What if I don’t have the right words?Well,so and so can write better,talk better,sing better -so and so is more qualified.She dresses better – Her family is well off,Did you know her brother schooled abroad?”
Yes- I questioned everything – I questioned myself,my worth and I forgot about who lives in me –Greater is He.
Deep down,I knew I had the words – but there was something -the kind that grips your stomach so bad.

So today,as I walked down the hallway -she’s not the only one I met.Hands curled up on her knees, barely lifting a chin.It spelled defeat,despair – if it means saving her life, then finding her today was worth it.Half her life spent stuck in silence,afraid she’ll say something wrong.

I had seen it on replay,again and again.The last time Ted came by the store – Stacy had left.And She wasn’t the only one who had – there was Jill and Grace – I don’t think I remember the other one but here is the thing,I saw how he shut doors and caged himself in a world that knows no love,afraid if Cupid’s arrow got him -it wouldn’t last.Cold and Numb.Fear will have walls closing in on you -Eventually,you’ll develop Claustrophobia.

It’s almost half the things we’ve gone through in life or things we’ve heard that have held us back – the place of fear.We’re afraid of being rejected because it might have happened in the past.You failed your last interview – the unborn possibilities and aborted opportunities.You have a whole list of canned speeches and predictable plot lines because of cycles you’ve seen play out .

“Fright need not stop you when you have faith for that which you’re afraid.Your strength is in your struggle,your power is in your pain so take a risk and come out of the shadow into the light.” -For you have not been given a spirit of Fear!-But of power,love and a sound mind.(2Timothy 1:7)

So I dare you today -“The only barriers that shackle you are the limits you allow to diminish your own creativity and potential”.
May you rise from the ashes of defeat,like a Phoenix.
“Release every Cliché ridden script you’ve held onto -engage with the reality of the moment instead of relying on tired old scripts or half baked plans that don’t account for the unpredictability and ever changing circumstances of life.”

If the world never hears it,how we gonna learn your song?
You’ve got the words to change a nation but you’re biting your tongue.
You’ve got a heart as loud as a lion’s, so why let your voice be tamed?
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows,so stop hiding it away.

Its about time we had some airplay of our version of events.Let the world hear your story! -Your purpose is to be fully yourself and share what you have inside of you.

Love and light..
Untamed.

Its good even in the bad

These recent times,a good amount of things have been breaking ..especially on the inside.
So today,I sat by the window at my favorite cafe -its one of those days when coffee is only coffee when it’s at a coffee house,brewed with such mastery and I love mine black.

A lot of things crossed my mind – I saw many people – different ;black,Caucasian,Indian and so on but what caught my mind was the freedom in each of them. Walking up and down the streets as if their lives were perfectly figured out.Each headed a specific direction while I sat in this maze,trapped in the circles of life.
I dunno if thats the beauty of it but as I wandered in my mind bedazzled by this rare phenomenon ; it caught my attention that maybe it isn’t a question of who’s going where but rather,who is in it ? In all the cares and worries of life,career, relationships …Who’s in it for you?

I’ve hit rock bottom countless times.Beaten and bruised,almost at the edge but every time I drowned,I knew a resuscitation awaited because walking on water For Him was a guarantee enough for me that no matter how many times I drowned,I’d come up back again – doesn’t matter if I’m still coughing out water..The coming up does.
And I realized how much the issues of life can drown us,choke every bit of potential growth in us .It’s so easy to wanna wallow in self pity, blame games here and there.
It’s like waking up in a roller coaster ;
We feel trapped and sick,terrified of every bend,wanting to get off.However,if i believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine then the nightmare becomes something thrilling.It becomes exactly what it is,a roller coaster, a safe reliable toy which will eventually stop but while the journey lasts,I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.

I’m learning to live a day at a time,someone told me that if we can rest in today then – the future will take care of itself.And that made a whole lot of sense,those are words that take you aback and have a whole history written.Come to think of it,half our lifetime is spent worrying over things that may never happen.I remember this time I sat next to a friend and we began talking about life in general,the different paths we’ve taken and how God has amazingly played into each of them.It was from a point of fear and anxiety that I expressed my fear for transition and especially into the corporate world ( I am super scared of the pressure honestly ) and guess what she did? She snorted and then looked at me like “Who told you?” In my head I was like “Told me what?”
“That pressure you’re talking about?Who even told you you’ll walk out of this building alive? What happens if you walk out and you’re run over by a car and die? You may never even land into that job you’re so worried about because if you die today,then there’s no transition in the first place.Quit worrying!! Live in the present
Chances are,your job might be the least of the things that would stress you”
To be honest,that caught me.That we spent time worrying and anticipating for things that may never really happen.Worried about what you’ll name your kids,what if you never get married??.. And so many other “What ifs”…
Life has a way of taking Care of itself and however bad it can get,God saw your endings while you were in the thick of things.He won’t allow something you’re not strong enough to handle. And i pray that,may our bad days prove that God is good,may our whole lives prove that God is good.

Yanked

This time I stood there ,no words no music..just me! – because the music and the poetry ends but the pain always keeps coming back.
For the first time I was quiet,dumb!struck! Stripped of my self confidence,stripped of the pride to swing my head as I rolled out my tongue in that Australian strine -Naked!Bare! Bare of the things that made me rather the things that I thought made me..I didn’t know which part of me hurt but what I knew at that moment is that the flesh has through generations undergone training to exist in a certain way and God had to yank that flesh so I could die to self..
Imagine what that did to me!All the things the world had taught me – how could 21 years be undone ,just like that ? How could I exist without the need to gain validation from people ? How could I be dependent on A God who to many people there’s no proof of existence- I was taught to walk this earth like it was my runway -Miss Independent; A far better title than miss Kenya.

And that’s where it began.Stripped and bare as I watched my shame swing around me.And the freckles on my body reminded me of everything there was to hate about myself -oh these little things! My face too,washed away of every taint of Maybeline foundation and I must have lost weight fighting the thought of ever growing fat,that scared me.
But here, face to face with my biggest fears – for the first time I could not stare into my audience because it was all I am, staring back at me !Nothing is scarier than facing your own demons!
I saw pride look at me,she sneered all the time.Selfishness sat right across the room looking like she owned the place ,then I heard insecurity whisper all sorts of things I had stood on this stage telling people that they were over and above.I had stood on this stage telling people that they could make it,they were beautiful,good enough,loved but I had never told myself that. I seldom reminded myself of the a thousand minute intricacies that make up the tapestry of who I am.
It drove me crazy!How could I look into myself ?well,maybe the toughest decision I had ever made was to live with myself.But here ,tonight – no motivational speech,just me and more me staring back …Undone!But isn’t this what happens when we look at ourselves in the light of a Holy God?Transcendent in majesty ?
And suddenly you realize that,more than “burnt sacrifices”- it’s actually a broken heart and a contrite spirit..
How could David have known?
Wasn’t this the norm of how things went down in Israel ?Guys gave burnt offerings per se right ?And God accepted in as much as He did not want them.But how is it that David knew that God was not pleased with these offerings ?
And now I can almost picture these guys lined up to go up the temple carrying bulls and goats maybe ? And David is barehanded then one of them is like “Yoh Dave,where’s your sacrifice ?” And David in all his madness goes like “I have a broken heart and a contrite spirit”!
Crazy right ?? But that’s what a relationship with God does..Above everything else,it draws you to knowing What He loves and What He hates.Then only and only in the light of His holiness can our shame and pride be stripped away..Our selfishness ,the need for validation and eventually we center on Him because its either God or nothing.
If you wanna experience the beauty of God,you must exhale the ugly – because pride and gratified vanity never brings peace or happiness.

Found

Love will come

And love will find u..living life and distracted by that dream career or loving yourself,traveling the world maybe …thinking about it more or less doesn’t make it arrive sooner …See,Love finds you in the most unexpected moments of your life ;young and broke maybe ,In the most unexpected places like walking around the supermarket and wondering why the heck broccoli is so expensive.

I know you’ve been praying hard enough,and that’s okay…I can’t wait to meet you too – I think it baffles me every time I think of the man who’s gonna fall in love with all my madness,I know I am much on your plate..ask me how I know that ? Because I am too much for myself too..and isn’t that what makes it beautiful ?knowing that there are a thousand minute intricacies that make up the tapestry of who we are…

So dear future husband ,I do not wish you were tall dark and handsome – only that you love the lord with all your heart,I can always come second in place..I don’t mind… I do not wish you were blonde and blue eyed – only that you know your worth and who’s son you are…After all David says “Ye are gods,sons of the most high,all of you “…-Ps 82:6

So how about I give you a heads up? You gonna have to take take time and invest in me and lemme tell you ,I promise you something,issa good investment baby because when you invest in me your life’s better ,you increase because I’m not just living life for my own …I’m living life for a king and when you invest in me ,you invest in a kingdom and you become a part of royalty … If you gonna be a part of my life we don’t walk around any kinda way ….that means no hood,no lies,no shenanigans…

Dear future husband, I do not wish that you came sooner..Time has allowed me to meet a part of me I never knew existed.. To fall in love with her flaws – but I still haven’t figured out why I always get so mad every time I burn my pancakes, maybe you do it better ? But I’m better off,Someone said every time they try making theirs it always reminds them of scrambled eggs…Haha ! How much more sappy can life get ?

Anyway..dear future husband, if it were up to me ; I’d book you a flight already…but how about we rest in knowing that Father makes everything beautiful in its own time ?After all,you’re not going anywhere ,are you ?Yeah,thought so…

Love,

Mrs So and So…

*******************

Here are two cents ; a different kettle of fish all together…

• You do not rush things that take time to grow : allow the process.
• Having in mind that the bigger picture is God taking glory in everything ; what is the need of a beautiful wedding if Jesus cannot use your marriage ?Its easy for us to deceive the pastors ,to repeat our vows after the preacher.The bishops might not know .Instagram pictures don’t reveal the fruits of a marriage. But God does..
• If you go out in the world looking for someone to fill that void, many will come dressed up as all the things you need, want, and crave. They will become your best addiction. I beg you, do not fold, do not settle for a quick fix, do not trivialize your happiness for the sake of compromise. No matter how long it takes you, no matter how impossible it will become to find someone that’s completely in tune with you, do not let it get to you. I know you are your worst enemy.

  When you go through all your filth, struggle, trial and tribulation, when you’ve watched people come in and out of your life, when you’ve ran out of band-aids for your heart, remedies to get over pain and intense loneliness, when life just didn’t make sense any-more but some way, some how you still picked yourself up.

  When you go through all that and can still allow yourself to feel love because you’ve found self-love; only then will you find the one that’s made for you and when that happens, when they arrive you will experience love so deep, your bones will feel it.

  This will not be love, like the ocean and shore; constantly reaching and running back. This will be the kind of love that was specially made for you, the kind of love that only your strength can handle. This love will be infinity to the millionth degree, constantly reaching and holding tight. This will be the kind of love that makes the ocean and shore jealous.

  Be patient with yourself…

  –Thought Catalog.

  

Hanging on Hope

Sorrounded by these four walls and like the caged bird sings,I can hear every voice in my head echo.I can hear every silent whisper through the cracks of this heart .This is my hallelujah !The deeper you’ve been broken,the greater that foundation’s gonna be.I know,we’re the faces everyone counts as strong – like society has made it seem like some of us ain’t allowed to break down or hit the deepest lows…we need to hold it together !As if our entire reputation is tied to that.

Sadly, most of us wallow in depression and keep a calm face because that’s what the world wants us to do – relax,compose yourself and smile ,even better give free hugs to brethren. I’m still saddened by the most recent one – Pastor Andrew Stoecklin of inland church who attempted suicide that ultimately led to his death a day later. Stoecklein, who leaves behind his wife, Kayla, and three sons, took his life approximately two weeks after he returned to work as Inland Hills Church’s lead pastor. He had been away on an involuntary four-months-long break to deal with depression and anxiety.

Let’s face it – depression ,anxiety ,mega panic attacks..seeing mental illness on display .Now that is something that we don’t like to talk about much, do we? Especially not the church.

What is it like to lose someone you love to suicide?

Counselors call this kind of grief a complicated grief or a complicated bereavement because grievers are actually dealing with two realities: grief and trauma. The grief of losing a loved one is normal and expected, but with suicide comes trauma.

In processing a suicide, there is no easy path to peace and the grief journey cycles through all sorts of different feelings and emotions. What strikes me is that suicide is so common. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said last year that suicide rates have increased by some 24 percent over the last 15 years in almost every demographic category.

Each suicide leaves behind, on average, 6 to 10 people—children, parents, spouses. That’s hundreds of thousands of people that are going through this loss every year. The better we understand these things, the better we can help one another. Just as we would not think it unspiritual to medically heal somebody for cancer or leukemia, it’s okay to provide treatment for depression and mental illness. Suicide rates are increasing.

The trends are all heading in the wrong direction for almost every demographic. But if there is a silver lining, it is that the church is now more aware of mental health issues than it was 15 years ago. (Above stats outsourced from https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/november/suicide-americans-taking-their-own-lives-church-al-hsu.html)

Now,let’s face it.Its okay not to be okay and very few people will tell us that. If you need to process your pain and anger,do it.You can take a trip to some small town,cry or even scream – if it makes you feel better but just don’t build a home there.

We are never okay when we pretend that hurt doesn’t hurt. Hurt always needs to be acknowledged and addressed. It doesn’t just disappear, no matter how deeply we bury it or how much we try to convince ourselves we’re okay in spite of it. When we fail to process our pain in a healthy way, it becomes ill-processed by default, deepening the damage of the original wound. That’s what happens when the unhealthy layers of denial under which we bury our hurt stand in the way of our wholeness. -Toure Roberts, Wholeness.

Its a journey, to process our dysfunctions, hurts and pains…no lie because I’ve been on that edge too.I know what its like to OD and hope you won’t have to wake up and feel every part of you crushing down.I know what its like to shut yourself inside you – to barely remember your name because the depression eats its weight deep dark into you..and the struggle of having to hide your wrists from the world because they’ll judge you for those cuts…

But come let’s reason together, let’s give hope a chance..Let’s laugh at the things that have hurt us..for the times life didn’t give us closure because sometimes closure comes years later when you’ve long ago stopped waiting for it,when you’re laughing at life unapologetically and when the smallest things don’t ruin your entire day…Its inner peace ,its a beautiful place and a silly best friend.

As time goes by,we live to tell our story – so why let our voices be tamed??Four years later and Here I am,with so much hope in life but was it easy?No!Were there times I slipped back into that darkness? Yes ,uncountable.And life has taught me that its for the strong,there’s no alternative. Those moments you’ve hit rock bottom and decided to let go,that’s when God steps in.I’m appalled by this kind of love – Its pure love poured out in blood washed romance.That though we’re incomplete, He loves us completely, Though we may feel lost and rejected His love encompasses us and in as much as we’re imperfect, He loves us perfectly… What manner of love!

So if you’re reading this and you feel at the edge,,there’s hope..the world is waiting to hear your song but we can’t hear it if you’re not here with us..even better,teach us a chorus or a stanza so that we can sing along. Don’t let your voice be tamed..Hold on!

You’ve got the words to change a nation But you’re biting your tongue You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence Afraid you’ll say something wrong If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?so come on ,come on ! You’ve got a heart as loud as lions So why let your voice be tamed? Maybe we’re a little different There’s no need to be ashamed You’ve got the light to fight the shadows So stop hiding it away… It’s ’bout time we got some airplay of our version of events There’s no need to be afraid I will sing with you my friend.. Yeah, we’re all wonderful people So when did we all get so fearful? And now we’re finally finding our voices Just take a chance…. Read all About it ,Emeli Sande

Who you say I am

“ You will be lost and unlost .over and over again.Relax love,you were meant to be this glorious – Epic story ”

I know I said I had it all figured out ,well truth is – I lied.I know I said I’m doing okay – I lied.That’s just the thing you do when you want to fool yourself .it’s the charade you put up because everyone thinks you have everything in place.Well,lemme be true for once.I’ll strip down all my shame – let you see my scars ,tell you of the things that hurt me,I’ll let you call me petty for snapping yesterday because my pancakes got burnt again ; Its okay if you judge me – after all I’m not perfect neither am I seeking perfection.For once lemme admit that I’m broken but I know of one who gives beauty for ashes ,gladness for mourning and praise for heaviness. I wanted to show up today in some classy knee length dress,do my pair of Sergio Rossi heels after all “Think of a shoe, not as a superimposed ornament, but as the continuation of the body.” Well,at least that’s what someone thinks.Simple Philosophy!

But here I am – just me.. Imperfect – staring at each other over a table.Yeah ,I know you going to say I look different ; that I forgot to do my lipstick and eyebrows – no I didn’t,I just pulled down my mask.I just opened my closet full of skeletons ,I let you see where I bury those bodies.And please don’t give those puppy eyes – I’ve pitied myself enough .

Oh before I forget ,I ran into Jacob on my way here.Something about him was off – I think the way he walks ,He has a different gait now. He said something about calling him Israel – if you ask me ,that sounded insane.Who said we can change names just when we feel like it ? And I heard about Saul too – they call him Paul nowadays .I hear he’s been moving around preaching ? I don’t get this whole facade.And Abram too? Well,He’s Abraham now .His new name actually fits him perfectly ,I heard they’re going to have a son soon,did you know ? So what about me ?What do you think will look good on me ? Do I change my name ? Have a baby ? Start Dating ? I heard Sheba has this huge Caravan ,I could probably get a good deal for a new car? Did you also know that Solomon built himself a new palace ?Look at me,all I ever prayed for was a simple bungalow – ain’t ever gotten even an apartment.

Are you even listening? Don’t just sit there and stare at me.I know I talk a lot.Say something ! Wait,you already knew everything I’m telling you ? What’s that thing about changing names ?

Well – Being made whole requires an authentic encounter with your heart.What’s the state of your heart? See,When Abraham’s name changed,people no longer called him Abram. But when Jacob’s name changed ,people still called him by his name,not Israel. IDENTITY!!!

See ,actually when God encountered Moses He revealed himself as the God of Abraham,Isaac and Jacob – even though He changed his name to Israel .You see,there are name changes that are not for people ,there are name changes that are for you.There’s an identity I will give you that doesn’t change the fact that you may encounter the same circumstances you encountered in the past .What I was doing to Jacob was an impartation moment – imparting the ability in Jacob to be all that I know him to be .I was giving Jacob strength against his history. See,you can be in a place of your purpose and still struggling with who you are not.Jack was at his purpose but still struggled with being a deceiver.I was giving him the ability that even if people called him by his name,his past had no power over him.

I was giving him the power to cancel all that he had experienced in his life.Your experience is limited ,it argues with my knowledge .

When God changes your identity – its a higher calling .Not a place you raise up your hands on Sunday and say “God I give you glory” ,NO! …its getting to a place where you enter a room and people see that this is a child of God.Its not gonna be a thing for a moment ,its gonna be your lifestyle to move in the power of the kingdom of God.And in order to do that, you cannot be divided Within yourself .

What you stumble upon in ignorance is what the devil uses against you. Its said that the devil knows you by your name but he calls you by your sin.

So what are you struggling with ? What’s your identity? Have you found yourself in a place where you’re like “God am I still this person (Insert everything you’re still struggling with)while am the person you’ve called me to be ?” God’s saying He’s gonna impart the ability and strength in you to be all that He’s called you to be but He’s also looking for a high note of purity and transparency.No longer will you be divided within your self.

Its time to identify with who God’s calling us.I dunno what you’re struggling with but what I know is that you cannot tame your demons,you have to cast them out.But its a process – of being vulnerable and broken before God ,casting down every stronghold and bringing every thought that exalts itself above God into captivity and obedience to the name of Jesus Christ.

The battle for your identity is in the mind – its allowing God to renew your thought process ,being mindful of what you say about yourself.And maybe you feel like you’re moving in cycles but those cycles could be the devil’s way of making you identify yourself with something you’re not. What are the strongholds you’ve allowed to exist with the identity God has given you to be ? Its time to cast down every argument against the knowledge of God.What limits you is the idea of what you’ve been known to be.But lord Here Again..today…we lay our old flames to carry your new fire…!

Forget And Breathe Again .

Take a moment ,breathe !Breathe Again…Remind yourself how it feels to be alive again,to love ,to laugh …Can you feel it ? That distant nostalgia …I can almost hear that wild laughter -“You’ve always been a wild girl you know ” Mama’s voice resounds for the umpteenth time.I must have fallen asleep on my couch !Yes,it happened again.I must have blacked out before midnight – and left my music on! Dancing shouldn’t be the first thing ,maybe wash my face ?or brush my teeth? I can hardly tell what time it is but all I know is that I love sleeping on the edge of my bed to see the sun rise on my face…I was gonna take over the world but I overslept again!But what’s better ? Running wild or running free?

Clearly ,we both know I’m not a morning person but I love my coffee white – when you’ve been to the darkest of places ,almost every dark thing scares the hell out of you.So how about we skip the bit where we both know life’s complicated and that you slept with a broken heart last night ?How about we forget you slept off waiting for her call – hoping against hope that she’s just throwing one of her tantrums again but she’ll be home before daybreak ?How about we forget that you got suspended from school again because your grades are poor ? Let’s forget all that…forget about that morning rush because you’re already late, at least we can slip back into bed and let that headache fade away…
For once in your life,pause!Forget!…Breathe! Remind yourself the smell of soil when it rains ,remind yourself of the times you laughed so hard that you cried ,remind yourself of how proud you are for having come this far – at the edge of something amazing and at the brink of giving up ,You stand !Honey,lemme remind you who you are.I know your friends tell you you have a funny nose or big toes – but how about you hear it from the one who sees you for who you are ? That feeling of insecurity ?I know it too.And maybe you won’t believe a thing I say – but please hear me out.

You might think you don’t matter or you’re not good enough but because of you someone now likes themselves alittu bit more because you made a passing comment about them that made them feel good.Someone read a book you recommended and got lost in the pages .Someone has remembered a joke you told them and smiled to themselves on the bus.Someone has tried out an outfit and felt beautiful because you complimented them in it.Never think you don’t have an impact ,your fingerprints can’t be wiped away from the little marks of kindness you’ve left on the world.So now,for a moment – forget all the things that hurt you .

Live life and love life.There are a thousand minute intricacies that make up the tapestry of who you are and none of them has ceased to exist since the last time someone said they love you.Stop letting the smallest things ruin your whole entire day .Stop complaining about how you’re alone while you’re sorrounded by people who actually care about you – life isn’t all about that one person ,look around you – you’re surrounded by so much love.Forget all the drama and all the grudges you’ve been holding.

Just live the days as they come.Wake up every morning and smile for this is the day that the lord has made,that you may be glad in it.

You’re a blazing, roaring fire in a world full of people who’ve been burnt. So please refuse to let the wounded people extinguish you .Refuse to be tamed .Refuse to flicker down into a meagre burnt out coal because somebody else is not tending to your flame.

There’ll be another love,another project ,another passion -there will be another thing that consumes you and it may not even be a person .So let it go by remembering that there’ll be another one.Just unleash the brilliant fire blazing inside of you and ignite the hearts of those around you.

OCEANS

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, lemme walk upon the waters ,wherever you will call me.Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour ”

I’d never fathomed the depth of these words until today – humming this song as I went about my chores then it struck me that these are more than just words -its more than some good kick and snare beat,its more than just lyrics – but the resounding cry of a hungry and thirsty soul ..As a deer panteth for the waters in a dry and weary land..

For one,I didn’t know how to jot this done – after such a mega break of having to go through a writer’s block,but just when these words really sank deep into my heart – I undoubtedly knew I wouldn’t lack something – after all,there’s no formula in writing ,there’s no better way to say Hi to a heart that sees right through you. After all,I missed the cluttering of pages in my heart and mind and sleepless nights of trying to figure out what you wanted to hear next.Sorry for my silence – distance makes you yearn for the days and nights that only linger in your memory.

For some reason ,the lyrics of this song sounded unfamiliar today – bolder than I ever thought !Its like,you can actually feel this hunger and desperate desire to cling onto any reef that sweeps across the ocean.A desperate thirst that cannot be quenched by any other !And just when I realized that its more than a song – I found myself mumbling these words in prayer …Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders : beyond the borders of doubt ,mindsets ,fear and only then did I realize that its actually more than just telling God to have His way..Its us laying down our will at His feet in total surrender ,cancelling our plans and interests and seeking to follow right behind Him..its casting our nets back into the waters we spent a whole night fishing and caught nothing ,its setting up an altar of sacrifice without an offering and trusting that He’ll provide ,its refusing to give God that which costs us nothing just like David !Its refusing to offer to God only when its convenient for us ,its refusing to offer to God something we don’t have an attachment to…its living in the reality that all things work for the good of they that love him !Its paying up the price and learning that some things about God can only be learnt through suffering -when the grace doesn’t look gracious and things are taking a toll on us…

Lemme walk upon the waters – this reminded me of my fear of learning how to swim. I’m not really hydrophobic but I just can’t go under water – the thought of it getting into my nose and ears really frightens me ..and more than once I’ve found myself almost suggesting to God that if my time ever comes ,I shouldn’t die out of drowning or falling off a building (I’m acrophobic)or getting burnt to death ..those are my biggest fears and finding myself telling God to lemme walk upon the waters today ,resurfaced so many things I’m afraid of..Anyone who hasn’t been in water larger than the size of a bathtub can almost relate to what I’m saying …But the lord quickened me to His word Isaiah 43:2 – “ when you pass through the waters I will be with you and through the rivers ,they shall not overwhelm you ..” And this sort of gave me an assurance that whatever situation I have to walk through in life,there’ll be a hand to hold me through the darkest nights ..and honestly, walking through life alone is something most of us are afraid of ..walking through the loss of a loved one,a breakup, loss of a job, malignant diseases such as cancer -we all want people to tell us its gonna be okay ,but sometimes that’s never enough ..So,may we find Godfidence in the assurance that God gives us,that when oceans rise our souls can rest in His embrace ..

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour- for some reason this reminded me of the modern day superheroes..its like we all have a ferocious desire to help and save ourselves, look mighty and be the epitome of bravery and strength but at the end of the day ,truth is ,we’re all alittu broken and weak ;in need of a saviour..Often than not,we fail to acknowledge that..we pretend to have it all together and I’m not an exception to this ..Countless times I’ve found myself saying “i got this” while in real sense my insides are crumbling in despair and defeat..It only gets worse as time goes by until we can really admit that we’re in need of a saviour – way stronger than Superman ..To be rooted in the kind of love that is steadfast and better than life itself…

We are never okay when we pretend that hurt doesn’t hurt. Hurt always needs to be acknowledged and addressed. It doesn’t just disappear, no matter how deeply we bury it or how much we try to convince ourselves we’re okay in spite of it. When we fail to process our pain in a healthy way, it becomes ill-processed by default, deepening the damage of the original wound. That’s what happens when the unhealthy layers of denial under which we bury our hurt stand in the way of our wholeness.

And often than not,I’ve realized that for us to really go deeper is not a one day thing..its a series of being broken and moulded-God won’t break you and leave you broken!But if it means Him breaking you just to make you, He will.If it means Him wrecking your plans before they wreck you,be assured He will…and when all is said and done ,my most mind blowing lesson has been that God is looking for a High note of purity and transparency. For us to get deeper in God,our lives need to be laid at His feet in total surrender.

“God doesn’t promise us smooth sailing.Still waters run deep but that’s only true for waters that are confined to a certain place .Deepest waters like oceans and seas have constant waves and ripples that make them the opposite of still ;they’re the epitome of powerful .”

Connecting threads…Encounters!!

“Really important meetings are planned by souls long before the bodies see each other.

These meetings occur when we reach a limit,when we need to die and be reborn emotinally .They’re waiting for us but more often than not,we avoid them happening. If we’re desperate though, if we have nothing to lose or if we’re full of enthusiasm for life then the unknown reveals itself and our universe changes direction .

And everyone without exception needs to burn the bonfire of past emotions, to relieve certain joys and griefs,certain ups and downs until they can see the CONNECTING THREAD  that exists behind each NEW ENCOUNTER- because there’s a connecting thread “.

Life never gets any less interesting- how we just bump into people we dunno and then just outta nowhere they become a part of us…I find that really interesting.

Gladly,these encounters have found me at a point in life where I really needed a shoulder to lean on…where I needed to experience something new  

Yaaas!! So thinking about all these ; the new and amazing people I have in my life right now – I remembered one of my favourite games pinball ♥.Yes! As old as that game is,I’m still stuck on it… And so I felt like life’s becoming a reality kind of pinball game…

Wanna know the most interesting part of it ?? The shooting ball in my gun matches every ball that comes rushing in- that definitely means a win!

Yeah,,so I’m at that point in my life where most people I run into match the colour of the ball in my gun…that means alot to me..

I love new encounters and I have this bottom of my heart that treasures every bit of them ….So,if you’re in my life right now – I wanna let you know that yoh the best gift life can ever offer…and I’m glad you came!!!!

Yes!! That’s the connecting thread….!!♥And at times its an emotion chosen by the soul – its so intense that it can infect everything and everyone around….