Sorrounded by these four walls and like the caged bird sings,I can hear every voice in my head echo.I can hear every silent whisper through the cracks of this heart .This is my hallelujah !The deeper you’ve been broken,the greater that foundation’s gonna be.I know,we’re the faces everyone counts as strong – like society has made it seem like some of us ain’t allowed to break down or hit the deepest lows…we need to hold it together !As if our entire reputation is tied to that.
Sadly, most of us wallow in depression and keep a calm face because that’s what the world wants us to do – relax,compose yourself and smile ,even better give free hugs to brethren. I’m still saddened by the most recent one – Pastor Andrew Stoecklin of inland church who attempted suicide that ultimately led to his death a day later. Stoecklein, who leaves behind his wife, Kayla, and three sons, took his life approximately two weeks after he returned to work as Inland Hills Church’s lead pastor. He had been away on an involuntary four-months-long break to deal with depression and anxiety.
Let’s face it – depression ,anxiety ,mega panic attacks..seeing mental illness on display .Now that is something that we don’t like to talk about much, do we? Especially not the church.
What is it like to lose someone you love to suicide?
Counselors call this kind of grief a complicated grief or a complicated bereavement because grievers are actually dealing with two realities: grief and trauma. The grief of losing a loved one is normal and expected, but with suicide comes trauma.
In processing a suicide, there is no easy path to peace and the grief journey cycles through all sorts of different feelings and emotions. What strikes me is that suicide is so common. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said last year that suicide rates have increased by some 24 percent over the last 15 years in almost every demographic category.
Each suicide leaves behind, on average, 6 to 10 people—children, parents, spouses. That’s hundreds of thousands of people that are going through this loss every year. The better we understand these things, the better we can help one another. Just as we would not think it unspiritual to medically heal somebody for cancer or leukemia, it’s okay to provide treatment for depression and mental illness. Suicide rates are increasing.
The trends are all heading in the wrong direction for almost every demographic. But if there is a silver lining, it is that the church is now more aware of mental health issues than it was 15 years ago. (Above stats outsourced from https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/november/suicide-americans-taking-their-own-lives-church-al-hsu.html)
Now,let’s face it.Its okay not to be okay and very few people will tell us that. If you need to process your pain and anger,do it.You can take a trip to some small town,cry or even scream – if it makes you feel better but just don’t build a home there.
We are never okay when we pretend that hurt doesn’t hurt. Hurt always needs to be acknowledged and addressed. It doesn’t just disappear, no matter how deeply we bury it or how much we try to convince ourselves we’re okay in spite of it. When we fail to process our pain in a healthy way, it becomes ill-processed by default, deepening the damage of the original wound. That’s what happens when the unhealthy layers of denial under which we bury our hurt stand in the way of our wholeness. -Toure Roberts, Wholeness.
Its a journey, to process our dysfunctions, hurts and pains…no lie because I’ve been on that edge too.I know what its like to OD and hope you won’t have to wake up and feel every part of you crushing down.I know what its like to shut yourself inside you – to barely remember your name because the depression eats its weight deep dark into you..and the struggle of having to hide your wrists from the world because they’ll judge you for those cuts…
But come let’s reason together, let’s give hope a chance..Let’s laugh at the things that have hurt us..for the times life didn’t give us closure because sometimes closure comes years later when you’ve long ago stopped waiting for it,when you’re laughing at life unapologetically and when the smallest things don’t ruin your entire day…Its inner peace ,its a beautiful place and a silly best friend.
As time goes by,we live to tell our story – so why let our voices be tamed??Four years later and Here I am,with so much hope in life but was it easy?No!Were there times I slipped back into that darkness? Yes ,uncountable.And life has taught me that its for the strong,there’s no alternative. Those moments you’ve hit rock bottom and decided to let go,that’s when God steps in.I’m appalled by this kind of love – Its pure love poured out in blood washed romance.That though we’re incomplete, He loves us completely, Though we may feel lost and rejected His love encompasses us and in as much as we’re imperfect, He loves us perfectly… What manner of love!
So if you’re reading this and you feel at the edge,,there’s hope..the world is waiting to hear your song but we can’t hear it if you’re not here with us..even better,teach us a chorus or a stanza so that we can sing along. Don’t let your voice be tamed..Hold on!
You’ve got the words to change a nation But you’re biting your tongue You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence Afraid you’ll say something wrong If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?so come on ,come on ! You’ve got a heart as loud as lions So why let your voice be tamed? Maybe we’re a little different There’s no need to be ashamed You’ve got the light to fight the shadows So stop hiding it away… It’s ’bout time we got some airplay of our version of events There’s no need to be afraid I will sing with you my friend.. Yeah, we’re all wonderful people So when did we all get so fearful? And now we’re finally finding our voices Just take a chance…. Read all About it ,Emeli Sande