A cross to bear!

She minded her own

And most of the times she was alone

But who would have known ?

That behind the silence in her words

And the noise in her silence

Was myriads of questions ,questions she demanded explanations but what  was almost clear in her eyes was the pain that  ravenously devoured her…

So she always sat under that oak tree,twas her favourite spot..and watch every leaf that fell and withered ..

She could relate,of course she could !It was a constant reminder of her fallen duchy and her stolen dreams.Dreams of flying above oceans and touring places,she could almost see it right before her..Being exactly where she wished to be..Of course those were the dreams she once made on a shooting star,buh now life had placed her exactly where fate wanted her..

Behind her she could hear the resounding innocent cry of the baby she now wishes could call her mama and be the reason for her to live..but how??

How could she think of it? How could she think of bringing another sad mark of her stolen identity …Then now she remembers that night,as he thrust hard inside her,mouth gagged and his hand constantly pressing hard around her neck…her face Contorted beyond description as tears rolled from the corners of her eyes..it was obvious her pain cannot be described in just mere words but he repeatedly kept shouting

“I knew one day I’d finally get you”!

Yes,sad how life quickly turns without alarm..the people we trust,the person she knew..no longer the ally she spent hours laughing with…now a stranger in the night…

And when she found out a part of him was growing right inside her…she decided to bury it with the past..the past she wishes she never remembers ..the past that is right in her present …

The past that  left her as an object of derision  and everywhere she passes is the silent whispers of judgmental eyes

” akona mdudu”!!

And now it has become a cross to bear not knowing if she should climb on that hill and crucify herself or wait for the thorns to continually prick her head and the vinegar to slowly burn her dry throat till when she can finally say

“It is finished”!!

Because her tears are dry for crying….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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16 Replies to “A cross to bear!”

  1. Have Faith. There has to be something better for you. Pain does get less and fade away in time. Things that happened to us can be turned around to serve us better. Although it’s difficult, cultivate forgiveness and you will see the clouds moving and the sun coming through. Maybe even a rainbow as a gift for the cruel things you went through. Never give up hope. Keep going. I send you many Blessings of Love,Light and Healing Energies from me. God Bless ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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