Dear Societal Expectations…

I always thought i needed your shoulder to lean on everytime the clouds in my world turned dark ;

And then I understood that not all dark clouds spell rain…

It was hard to get used to undoing the zipper on my dress,coz most times you did it for me…but well,now I’m all grown – I can do that on my own..

My pancakes no longer burn every time Billy comes home – I’m a young lady atlast !!I can cook..and I don’t need your Mother,Rose to keep saying that I ain’t good enough for you…

The old laundry house closed down when they knew that finally I could do my own laundry – I got complains that I was their biggest client,but now since it seems that I can almost manage all that on my own – they no longer get income as they used to… Sadly it closed down..

Don’t worry about  me spending hours on my favourite TV shows – nay,I got myself a couple of books..they say knowledge is life – so I just thought that I wasn’t ready to die stupid…

I started taking walks too – sometime back you said I’d get too fat for life if I was stuck on my couch always …and the evening walks are doing me alot of good ..Recently I lost 10 pounds – I think I’m ready for life…You don’t have to worry about me getting some heart disease..

Lastly,but not least…I learnt to do my make up right…Remember how you always felt embarrassed when people in streets stared at us whenever we walked by,and you thought I was ugly ??Yes,I look much better now.In fact,I have people all over the world reading my stuff and it moves them …They actually think I’m witty – when all you ever called me was a fat dumbass.

Yeah,and I’m glad being with you at a moment in my life made me realise how imperfect I was .I had flaws,which I still do – but my imperfections make me perfect.Oh!And thanks to you Critic Peter,I learnt to appreciate the beauty in others but Best of all ,IN ME…

And now,I don’t need you to feel incomplete anymore – because I was never good enough… I learnt all these things not because I wanted to be any better for you but because – I had to be best for myself before I could be good enough for you…And then I also realized that I was doing it wrong – I listened  to all the nasty things you said ..all because I called you my better half and believed  almost everything you wanted me to…I believed even that which I wasn’t…

They say – tell a girl she’s beautiful, she’ll never remember… But call her ugly and she’ll never forget….That’s what I exactly did…But later on…I learnt that every single person is special in their own way…and I’m special too…♥

How beautiful for one to finally fall in love with their own flaws ?!

But don’t take it to heart…this is just a mere letter to you dear society ,,for trying to conform everyone into what you think is right  🙂

And I refuse to be defined by society…I choose to break free and be me !!!!!

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5 thoughts on “Dear Societal Expectations…”

  1. Bravo ! So you are working on yourself in becoming you and finding yourself beautiful too 🙂
    Do you know why people put others down. That is because they feel others are above them. If someone is below them they cannot put that person down. The day I realized this wasn’t I just Happy 🙂
    They see something they don’t have or can’t do. Where as each person has their own gift. They do not see this but try to spoil things/life for them. But they do not know that actually they are spoiling their life by doing so. Work at understanding others personalities. You will learn a lot and know there is nothing wrong with you but those who put others down. Educating oneself is the best way to move forward. Best of Luck ❤ 🙂

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      1. What you are writing is resonating with what happened in my life too. I did not go through any severe physical issues, but the putting downs. I was smiling to myself when I was reading as I too was criticized endlessly. Yes I didn’t also know to cook like an expert like his mother. I was all perfect that is why I was chosen. For my money, looks and my family status. And then !
        Suddenly they were the very things that went against me. Suddenly everything I did was wrong. I was doing everything from my beautiful face. All my family, parents even my grand parents were criticized. Suddenly that good girl who was liked by everyone – became bad !!!
        Years of endless put downs, but I went on as there were two small lives that had to be taken care of. Then I fell !
        And almost everyone pointed their finger at me. They didn’t know what went on within the 4 falls. They saw me well dressed and going around doing everything with a brave face. They came to the conclusion – she is the bad one – why ? Because she was well dressed and went about – went about ?I was running behind my children as I was the one doing everything. I didn’t have time or energy to mess about with other men. But that is not what they thought !
        And then I lost everything. They were waiting to see me fall. They were jealous of so much I had. Those who knew, knew. There were hardly anyone I could look up to. I had lost even my home. I was like a piece of meat on the road, everyone getting to me. It was few of them who took me under their wing !
        And now ? Yes just like you I have raised my head up. I am well respected where I work. Everywhere I go. No one can say I am doing things from my face. Am I doing things from my face on my blog ? No ? And then they said, O we didn’t know. If we knew we would have got your property back ! Who are they to get my own assets back ? But then they ended losing. As those who do wrong take their guilt to their graves. They die with a heavy heart. So now from some where I have crossed your path. To tell what happened and you are learning from me. Yes I have lived in Africa too one time 🙂
        This is something I cannot write on my blog. Why my children are there. Just like you I am also now writing to people all over the world. Now I am back again to who I was, after 42 years !!!
        So girl and everyone who reads this know that no one can put you down for good. No one can hurt and harm another and get away. What goes around comes around. Now I have lifted my head up and taken,”My Power Back – all by Myself” 🙂
        If you like you can write this as a blog from another person, in yours for others to read. Everyone can Bounce Back. Be like the bouncing ball. “The Harder you Fall the Stronger You Bounce Back” I am very glad I was able to write this. In a way I have let out my story to the world. I Bless you on your Life. The meaning of My name is Light. And now “I have come out of that darkness to be the, “Light who I am to take away the darkness of others” Love and Light from me to All 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you. Your are an inspiration yourself, even to me, young as you are. We Both continue our Journey’s side by side in two different destinations far apart but together on the Internet. As a mother I wish you, Good Health, Happiness Prosperity and ultimately to be, Peace at Heart which we all seek. Many Blessings of Love and Light from me 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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