Damaged goods.. 


Dear Sir, 

Such a start would make it feel like we haven’t met before, or more like we are strangers.. But I guessed if I said daddy, like it was, it would rather sound so sarcastic… 

I dunno what emotion to wear right now, should I be at least sappy while I know there’s nothing to be happy about?? And Its palpable that you  can already see through my glass made self so clearly. I should just go straight to the point then, but I prefer to beat around the bush, maybe I’ll find the right words. 

This time, I’ll hold back from using words like; sorry, I wish I knew, forgive me… Until I’m sure I mean them. 

Why don’t I just get this off my chest already? And my evil heart is all loud trying to whisper “i told you so” and the thought of having to hear that come from you would be so devastating.. 

I promise I’ll hold back the tears not to look all sorry and broken… 

So now.. Lemme clear my throat.. It might help, just a littu.. 

I bring you damaged goods, that’s all I ever do.. When things go wrong, I come running to dump it at your feet.. After all, I’m just as I am… 

For a moment, I found myself thinking of how many times we go through stop signs and still drive past ’cause we’re in a hurry? And at times, just at times.. Or maybe once, those traffic officers will let you go with a warning.. 

Its the same thing with us..our lives are in so much a hurry tryna grope  for the things that seem so far off  but here’s the thing, the things we want are not necessarily what we need.. 

I thought of how much we stuck up God in the back of our cars with that tray of eggs.. He’s just in the background.. Like He’s some slow music and we’re up the stage singing out the days of our lives.. 

Or worse, think we’ve blown up God’s plan for our lives.. 

But yes, that’s the problem with a living sacrifice.. It always tends to crawl out of the altar.. We lay our lives at His feet, only to pick them up when We feel  He’s getting late, like superman stuck up at the five and dime  saving the day… We hand over the pen to Him only to pick it up again or draw suggestions over His shoulder… 

I dunno what it is like for Him, but I’m sure at some point it breaks Him too.. To watch us go down the right road only to make diversions and luring U-turns. And I think all He wants is a chance.. To hear you call Him father, just to be a part of your life… 

And next time you’re sorry… At least mean it… Let Him hold you to your words.. 

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Author: Unspoken spree

Silent whispers

3 thoughts on “Damaged goods.. ”

  1. I like your writing. Its very honest and blunt. I appreciate that. I don’t care for the subject matter. I don’t put stock in mythical passed down stories that change and grow and that have no proof. I’m more practical in believing in the law of cause and effect instead of believing “something” “up there” has anything to do with how my life advances, but I also think everyone has the right to believe what they want. It’s your life.

    Liked by 1 person

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