“To be a good writer,you have not to be afraid of starting sentences with conjunctions ..words like ‘and’…”- Biko
Well,I honestly dunno what my first statement has to do with whatever I wanna put down but I feel like over the past couple of months ,life’s had a way of bringing in so many things ,actually ,lessons .Its been a series of this and that ,here and there ,messes and muses …and I think when all that is put together ,its a beautiful mess -paint and colours ..I dunno what picture you want on it,but its my canvas – I paint it how I want …!
Since we were expelled from paradise,we’ve either been suffering ,watching others suffer or suffering along with them and that’s not even it – I feel like humanity has become a lost place leaving the world in shambles of broken ,miserable and continually hurting people yet we so well know how to cover up in the broadest smiles .
I dunno why I want to put this out there but I’m sure,if one or two can identify with this – then maybe we could lead the world to a place of healing,that we can break out of this emotional and mental asylum of wanting to drag everyone into our mess.I have a feeling that if one person can go our of their way to show compassion, it could start a chain reaction… So many broken souls out here ,so much pain accumulated in the name of ”naaah,I’m good. .I can handle it”….so many unlovable hearts …
“Im just looking out for myself ,I’ve gone through this and that before.I don’t want go through that again…!” Does that sound familiar ?No?…Often than not,I’ve found myself pulling that secret card at the fear of having myself broken or hurt by similar situations …and I tend to think its a secret card we all have …anyone who’s gone through tremendous heartache knows …!But hey,here I am…lemme love you …lemme love those broken pieces …lemme be that father who walked out on you at 4,lemme erase the horror of having to remember that you endured sleepless nights hoping and wishing that he won’t show up again because last night he left you more frightened than ever ;he stole your dignity and innocence ..and you suffered quietly because nobody would believe you if you spoke up..and there’s only one way to do that,make peace with yourself and i know you’re asking how and you’re somewhat thinking I’m crazy,I dunno what you went through ,I dunno what it felt like crying yourself to sleep… And yes,you’re right – I HAVE NO SINGLE IDEA..but what know is that life’s had to put me through a series of shenanigans ,causing mayhem left right center yet here I am … “Hold on to me,cause I’m a lil unsteady “I can almost hear a lyrical X Ambassadors but that’s not my point …what I meant to say is that ;
“There are times you’ll have to go bed feeling like you’re all alone,yes most of us have ..Nobody’s gonna understand how it feels losing your job and your house auctioned ’cause you defied a loan payment ,you miscarried at 6 months or worse had a stillbirth ,your guy ditched you for your best friend …yes! We all don’t know what you’re going through feels like…but I’m sure every one of us has gone through times they thought they’d never wake up from and here’s what I have to tell you – The darkest hours of dawn are succeeded by sunrise ,so you will rise again!
The world is full of so many nice people,only that – we meet them with their Baggage .People walk around with all their baggage of disappointment, anger ,despair – looking for somewhere to dump it ;they’re like baggage trucks..! If we could only go back and trace where we lost it all,then we could start our healing journey .We’ve walked around with so much heaps of undealt pain and the only way we can rid off such is reopening those wounds again and finally getting closure and telling the past that we’re grateful for the lessons learnt,but its just time to say goodbye …
“Sometimes, closure arrives years later .Years after you’ve stopped searching for it .You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that’s unapologetically yours.As it trails off,the corners of your mouth hug your face and it hits you ‘Im happy’.Its just like that ,with no fanfare or epiphany .Suddenly you’re grateful for goodbyes that carried you to this moment to the space that you’re now holding …” I guess its time to lay our baggage down because sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let people love us..!