Rules Vs Love

Well,how far is too far?? ”

More than a  million times I’ve found myself stuck on that question, and I know most of us too have found themselves asking the same thing… How far is too far, as long as relationships are involved?? 

I’ve probably read many articles such as 10 ways to keep your relationship glowing, 5 signs to know that they’re into you, Basics of Godly dating and so on… All the more reason to believe that those are just rules preset in our human minds, psychology and intelligence… Buuuut now, how far is too far as far as Godly dating is involved?? 

We’ve all grown with these two mindsets on relationships; 

  1. Don’t have sex till marriage 
  2. Only date Christian guys who have the same beliefs as 1

Ahaaaa! Then now goes the profound saying, that rules are meant to be broken.. 

I’m sure we’ve all gotten to that point that in as much as we know those two rules, we always have it recurring at the back of our minds… How far can I go??Is kissing okay?? and all that, yes?? And basically, in other words this question is really a code for asking “How much can I get away with and not get God mad?? ” Rather we should be asking ourselves “How far can I possibly go to bring joy to the heart of my heavenly Father in this area of my life?”
I happened to stumble across  this book when God writes your love story and the first thing I thought, “what business does God even have with writing fairy tales? «it almost felt like I was reading one of those Cinderella happily ever after stories  but no, this was so much different in so many ways. 


More than anything, God wants to be involved with so many Areas in our lives. Infact, He wants to be involved in ALL areas of our lives. 

So now it got me wondering,  how far is too far as far as dating is involved.. Is this about the many rules I’ve read?? And the many relationship goals everyone Spends their whole life crafting?? 

#love predates law

Don’t settle for a formula. If you’re ready for an unforgettable earthly romance, start by discovering the joy of an intimate daily romance with the king of kings. When you truly know Him like that ,you’ll never again ask the question “How far is too far? ”

 Romans 8:3 -For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do; sending His son in the likeness of sinful flesh….

Guys,that right there was love…!! And rules Wont save you from temptations ,love will… 

If you passionately love God, His interests become yours too. You start loving what He loves and hating what He hates too… 

It is easy to do something out of love and not law.. After all, we all hate rules.. We’re always finding new ways to break them and make them fit into our perception. 

We need to get to that point of building our lives around God and not trying to fit Him into our lives..! 



#Giving God the pen

I could almost hear Sinach echo “you provide the fire, I’ll provide the sacrifice… 

God is more than willing to lead in every part of your life,  but we need to be willing to follow and trust that His way is perfect .When we ask God for direction, we need to move our feet towards the path He has set out for us!

“I had been trying to make sense out of this area of my life for so long, and I had felt the pressure of figuring everything out for myself “What if I marry the wrong person? What if I never meet the right guy? How will I know who the right one is? What if I make a mistake and ruin my whole life? ”

But here’s the real deal, let God take the shots!!!! 

Let God hold the pen and write your story.. It’s getting to acknowledge the fact that we should build our lives around Him and not building Him into our lives…! It’s passionately seeking Him… And not trying to suggest synonyms we think He should use in His writings… It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be fun!! 

It’s a journey of finding God and finding yourself In Him… Only then, can you find others to tag along !!


Hit your mark… 

There are times you’ll feel lost… But God has a way out… Only if you hand Him the pen and let Him script your story, only if you get out of the way and allow His power to go ahead of you and part the waters… Only if you let Him pour out Himself to you… 

_It is pointless to ask God for direction if you are not willing to move your feet. Every breakthrough and every success story is the combination of divine power and human effort. 

God brought manna to Israel but He didn’t make it fall inside their tents, neither did God pick it up and chew it for them. (Exodus 16) No amount of praying or fasting could replace Israel’s need for decision-making and decisive action. Each Israelite had to get up early in the morning, find containers and gather enough manna for the day.

 God will never do for you anything that He’s already given you the strength to do. God wants to bless you financially but you have to getup every morning and work diligently and faithfully. 

God wants to bless you with a child but you have to endure the nine long arduous months of pregnancy. God wants to bless you with a virtuous wife or loving husband but you must get out of your comfort zone, sacrifice comfort and convenience, open your heart to love and be loved, invest time in the relationship, lose a few friends and disappoint some family members along the way. Just because it is from God doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. 

God gave Israel the Promised Land but they had to walk through the desert, cross seas and flooded rivers, and fight and kill for it. Whatever it is that you’ve been praying for, God might’ve already said yes. But it won’t fall on your lap without your effort and action. After claiming it in prayer you must get up and take it by force. 

Birds are born to fly, not withstanding the law of gravity. Fish are born to swim, not withstanding the principle of floatation. 

Every child of God is born to win the battles of life, regardless of all obstacles and challenges. Whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world. 

No two birds have ever collided in the sky, which means there’s more space for all of them. You don’t need to pull your neighbor down to succeed. Pulling someone down does not necessarily mean you will go up! There is more than enough space and resources for us all to be the best that God wants us to be. Blessings to you all.

Happy New month!! 

Are you happy?? 

I’ve had moments I’m up feeling like crap and at times, the feeling is unfathomable… 

Am I happy with myself?? ”

If the description of happiness according to these times is a one day thing or a flow in the moment… Then No!!I’m not happy… There must be another name.. 

But what is this happy- business humanity is in search of?? 

A car?a relationship?? Wealth?? Fame??…. What??? 

There is one thing I believe… That happiness is never found, it’s always around the corner… Happiness is not a destination!! 

People have had the notion that, being happy is dictated by the events and people in our lives… And that’s where we get it wrong… 

Happiness Springs forth from you,, search deep within… Are you happy with yourself??! 

This is why… If you’re not happy with yourself,, nobody else is gonna make you happy… ‘Cause if you depend on what people say to you, to give you a feeling  -then you’ll always be disappointed… They say, charity begins at home… 

And sometimes… it’s not about what we have in life that makes us happy… it’s all about accepting that, this is what life has given me… It’s more of finding yourself In those lost moments of your life, where you feel as though nobody really understands you or what you’re going through… 

Happiness to me is being able to wake up and know that I’m at my worst, at my breaking point …but I can still smile and say that I wanna see what tomorrow holds… 

It’s not about tossing and turning to the smell of the one person who makes your heart beat so fast… You know,the world has made it seem like we’re a bunch of humans drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness… But hey, I’ll tell you this;  Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.. 


To be happy… You gotta find happiness in yourself ..
I’ve come around this part of scripture that says; To him who gives, more is added… I know you’re probably wondering what that has to do with happiness… But here is the point… If you’re not happy from deep within, then you cannot give happiness to other people. Instead, you spread your negative energy and become a garbage truck running around with bags of disappointment ,anger,frustration and bitterness… Then, you’ll always want to dump it on people… 

Happiness is a journey… Loving yourself through all the mistakes you’ve made and becoming better each day.. That way, the love Springs forth to other people… It’s easy to give without loving.. But, you can never love without giving.. ..“For God so loved the world that He gave…” And after that, I’m sure He looked down and smiled… He must have been so happy… 

Happiness has an aspect of love… Love for humanity ,for self… 

Someone wronged you?? Let it go.. Because it’s not until you learn to forgive ,that you’ll learn to love… 

People don’t like you?? 

You don’t have to try so hard.. You don’t have to give it all away… You just have get up.You don’t have to change a single thing…. Yes, you don’t have to bend until you break …

Be happy with who you are first, the rest will catch up with you… After all, 50% will love you.. And the rest hate you (for no good reason) 


MONDAY FOR ME.. 

Woke up feeling like I could sidewalk on all the memories… Then call it a wrap just when I’m on the other side… Curled up on the edge of my couch, baggy sweater, some warm cup of coffee…. I dunno  A perfect description of a Monday morning!! But I know what I’d call this one…. LOVE!!! 

Nothing feels right like some Monday love.. When everyone’s  up cursing… Monday blues!!! Oh, sorry folks!! Yoh on your own today… Haha 

Isn’t it interesting how life unfolds?? One moment you’re stuck at the five and dime like Superman saving the day and the other minute you’re curled up in some warm snuggly covers… Or maybe at the gazebo… Even better, watching the sun set in the spaces of your hands clipped together and whispering I love you… 

 Life’s beautiful… But we’d rather be stuck on all the bad times, how sad!! We got a million things to atleast say thank you for… Someone else would give their life to put up a smile on their face like you… 

Can we for a minute sidewalk on all the sad memories and bad times?? Can you just say a simple hello  to the guy who mows your lawn?? And just a simple I love you to the one person who hasn’t given up on you yet??

Take a moment… Even just a minute… Appreciate life for what it is.. Whether it has been bad or whatever… You start living the day you choose to!!! 

Tell someone you love them, even if it’s you… Buy someone flowers,or chocolate bars,take a moment and smile, something! Anything! ….. Just someone -because that someone could be you… 

Shrugs… 

Well ,I could bend till I  break…. And lie next to my phone hoping you’ll text first… Run fingers through my hair calling to mind every silly laughter and argument…

And last time I checked… It was us against the world, oh! I almost forgot everyone uses that line In the heat of the moment… Or rather in the snuggly caresses of the love in the air… 

It’s funny how life keeps moving… Like a rollercoaster!! One time slow… Then so fast, I could almost hear my heart beat at the thought of you… Well, too bad…I’m loving you wrong, again!! 

We all have a funny way of expressing our love for people… Some will be so insecure, others will take it out on you when they’re mad at the world,   but that doesn’t mean we love you less… 

But sometimes when all is said and done, we gotta draw a thick line between I wanna stay and it’s time to let go …

Sometimes staying hurts more than letting go… Or either way… Atleast I’m not torn In between the two… Because I know that people come and go, and those who are meant to stay will… 

Enough of the trouble for going out of the way to hold onto people that don’t even wanna stay… 

Witty Wednesdays 

I was gonna take over the world today, buuuut… I OVERSLEPT!!! POSTPONED, AGAIN! 

Oh now- I could almost hear Daughtry in his hit song ,Superman ..

“Yeah, he’s still coming, just a little bit late”
He got stuck at the Five and Dime saving the day”
She says “If life was a movie, then it wouldn’t end like this”
Left without a kiss”….

For a moment it got me thinking about superheroes and everything… Wait, who’s a hero anyway??? Well… Maybe Superman,Batman perhaps ….that’s what the world got me thinking… 
Anyway… Come to think of it.. We always want to award accolades everytime people want to know of our All time Heros…the thought of ‘who’s really my hero’  struck me in bed and left me staring at an empty ceiling… And see, being up late again simply meant I wasn’t going to take over the world, i keep postponing… 


You see, sometimes being a hero doesn’t mean the world will know your name.. Or anything like a hall of fame… Noooo!!And.. Superman won’t always be there to save the day .

But here’s the real deal – to have a hero, I believe you must be a hero yourself…  Funny enough, when 70% of us would give their Heros – lists would compose a thousand of the worlds most renowned persons… But come to think of it, we don’t even have a personal connecting thread with the persons… 

Being a hero starts with you.. And probably the reason I couldn’t fathom out who out there really fitted for a hero is because it’s profound impact on yourself through other people that would keep you going… Nobody is going to be strong for you… Nobody will jump buildings and have you flying through skies to save you…. Buuuut take this home, you’re the strongest being there can ever be… If you survived yesterday’s pain then you got all it takes to scream through any seething pain and tell yourself you will make it again.. 

It’s not about who did what and what… It starts with you… 

And don’t get me wrong, I’m really not disqualifying the fact that we can have Heros out there… Buuuut, the question is what have you done?? Just by yourself?? 

Have you survived long teary nights?? Have you atleast hanged in there when everyone would understand if you gave up?? Have you gone out of your way to put your life on the line for someone you love?? 

It’s just as simple as it is… It’s the simple things we do that touch hearts… 

Have you loved and lost??  Damn, you’re a hero… You made someone smile and feel as if their entire world revolved around you… 


I wish  I had someone Pop up everytime I thought of a Hero… It always keeps me going out of my mind to see if there’s one… And that’s not because I’m selfish… It’s simply because I think I’ve endured every pain, and teary  laughter…and all those moments you have to force a smile and act as if everything is going on just perfectly, but deep down – you’re breaking… It’s about all those times I’ve been mad at myself for not being able to change a couple of things and going out of my way to ask God for direction…  

It’s about all those times someone has told me that I’m the best damn thing that has ever happened to their lives…. 

It’s about all the  silly little things we’ve all done for love, atleast once in our lives…. 

It’s all about all those times the people that made you laugh until tears come out, turn to make you cry but you still tell them you love them and you won’t give up on them… 

It’s more of all the times I’ve spent the night cramming formulas for my exams but when the results are out, I’m below my expectations… But still going back to get it right again… 


I dunno if that’s enough to make me a hero to you, but to myself….. Giiiiiirl,yeeees!!I’m a superhero…. 

But again, this is not about me… It’s about you… What have you done?? 


Here’s to all the strong people out there…!!! 



Some littu change.. 


When the year begun, I wasn’t sure I was gonna make through the first month; leave alone the first half…. 

And that’s because…. It found me out in the streets, wild and loud… On something, this is what Shamala calls pombe Mwitu  and fireworks lighting up the sky with loud audio messages to wish people a happy new year …..but!!! Well, story for another day… Yes! Then someone pickpocketed my phone… Huuuuu!!! Nothing  changes a heartbeat than the realization that your phone is missing… 

Anyways… The beginning wasn’t all that good… Reality checked in a couple of times and left me feeling miserable ….but here’s the intriguing part… I  just woke up one day and decided that I didn’t want to feel like this anymore or ever again, so I changed —I had lots of excuses for not being able to change but at the end of the day, they were just excuses. Being able to change starts with your decision to change… 

#Time to grow up!! 

Going out on Friday nights and driving down highways and taking shots with random friends was no longer fun… I needed to grow up, have some decency and atleast respect myself enough to know that I had a higher calling…. That was just the beginning… 

#losing a couple of friends.. 

I personally think that your environment influences alot of who you are or rather, who you become… 

1Cor 15:33 –Bad company corrupts good morals… 

Now this was my point of separation… I’d say it came with alot of breaking up with people I was never even in a relationship with… I mean, separation is painful… But hey, you start living the day you step out of your comfort zone… 

Well, it wasn’t easy at first but right now I can look back at it and say it was one of the best decisions I made… 

Sometimes you gotta lose a couple of wrong people to find the right ones…. 
Just when about everything seems to be falling apart, the bigger picture is that it’s actually falling in place..

Close your eyes.. Breathe again! What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it…?? 

Yes, you’ve always worn yoh flaws upon your sleeve.. Yoh not perfect! 

                        BUT

WHEN ALL OF YOUR FLAWS And ALL OF MY FLAWS ARE LAID OUT, ONE BY ONE ..LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL MESS WE MADE …We pick ourselves undone…!! 

Some Friday love.. 

“God will first have to fix you before He can use you, but you’re never too broken to be used by God”    

                      *********

#Affirmation

I actually found that exciting! And intriguing at the same time…!! It almost sounds like crowder in the song come as you are… 
We’ve all probably had our times, dark enough to even let anyone have a glimpse buuuut hey! ITS OKAY 

#The irony… 

Then now with all His beauty and splendor and majesty… God’s seen the tiny sobs that get you to slumber, the heartache, hating yourself for never being the dumper in your last relationship, the blames you’ve laid up on yourself…. Oh, He knows you lied again yesterday while you’d sworn on your life and said you wouldn’t repeat it again… Buuuut, guess what??? He’s not even bothered by that… I almost chuckle at that and I’m like, ‘So how come nothing catches you by surprise? ’Someone tell me yoh getting the beauty of that… Lol

Yes, He’s rising from His throne and I can almost feel the shatter of my inner organs as they dance to the sound of Heaven… Then He whispers, “I have come so that you can have life and have it in abundance ”

I’m sure all that’s crossing in your mind is all the things you did yesterday… You lied, stole, fornicated, murdered…. AGAIN!! Guess what???? He tenderly whispers, ‘The old is gone and the new has come ’

#stuck in denial 

For a second all this inundates me… 

While He had every reason to stay on His throne and probably have to eat the best food… Wine and dine… I mean, imagine how a Prince William is treated… Servants everywhere and he only needs to snap a finger for the entire nation to fall at his feet… Then now, our own King Jesus… He decides to come down, live in some streets of Nazareth… I mean, that’s like more of how Maddona put it when she came to Kenya… And depicted us as some poor and starved beings… You know! He became flesh and dwelt among us… And damn, for a minute this Man Jesus didn’t have to file reports and send them back to His dad that ‘Guess what paps?? today I healed a blind beggar… Those guys were starving,i fed like 5000 of them …Uuhhm dad, I think I just killed 2000 pigs ’cause I exorcised the gerassene demoniac…. ”Get wharramsaying?? This guy wasn’t up and about for some accolades because He was the most renowned charity Organization …! Oh yes, I said that right… Because Himself, He was the organization… All these things proceeded from Him… 

Jeez!! I’ve actually deviated from whatever I wanted to talk about… But either way… This guy had to STEP DOWN for a minute because he wanted you to  STEP UP …

And again today… He’s calling us to go before His just as we are… Broken and wounded ,to be mended and healed,Guilty to be pardoned… And empty,to be filled…!! 

What greater love is there than a man laying down His life on the cross…!!! 

Witty Wednesdays ..


Feelings are good, like really good! BUT NOT NECESSARY ”

Wait, did I actually say that? Lol… I look at the girl staring back at me on the mirror  and smile for a while before I pose again and go like,, “how on earth did I even get here?! ”

Well yes… You heard me right… And now this is where I  disagree, like absolutely… With whomever came up with that cliché of the heart wants what it wants…  

Here is why…. Well, you can disagree if you want to buuuut I actually think that you can choose who you want to love… 

I mean, it’s normal to be the girl or guy who holds on a little too long when things are not working out right but that doesn’t mean that you have to stay… The rubber must hit the road… 

“But I think he loves me ”,Giiiiiirlssss??? Y’all need to grow up and know when it’s time to say enough is enough… Simply because he says he does doesn’t mean he does.. 

People just have a way of making you believe what they want you to… They’ll tell you the words you need to hear and buy you your favorite flowers and guys, that girl gon’ buy you that vintage sweater with your dopest logo BUT hey, WAKE UP!! The heart may want what it wants buuuut, you choose who to love… 

Is this the guy or girl you wanna spend your life with?? Are you gonna stomach the pain because he tells you to grow up?? Will you bend till you break because she said you’re not man enough?? Wait, why you even here in the first place?? 

If you’re not sure about it I think it’s time you took a hike…!! 

Feelings feel really nice buuuut, never let what you feel keep you from seeing the way things really are.. .Oh, and another thing, if your feelings don’t follow God’s word-you need to duck… 

I have been reading some book, When God writes your love story ..oh yes, I know that sounds insane now…. Buuuut,For a minute hear God out;

 You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am The Author of true love. I am the Creator of romance. I know your heart’s every desire. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to Me. You must let Me become the Center of your existence. You must let Me have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well.

Its that simple… 

Most times we end up setting for less because that’s what we really deserve… You settle for what you deserve!! 😊😊but if you’re wondering if you deserve better, yes! YOU ACTUALLY DO…!!! 

People are like garbage trucks… 


You haven’t come all this way to call it quits… I know things probably ain’t as you planned… And I know that part of situational irony too… Sorry you thought you did your character casting well… Sorry you thought you had your script plot broken down -Now there’s a twist because someone else wrote a better script than you did -They probably won the kalasha awards ..

Well, you probably didn’t take up the first position and it’s not because your plot wasn’t good enough -but you submitted the wrong script for the wrong award… 

And yes so to say – there are days you will wake up being just you and people won’t understand you for that,but keep being you.. 

And people you thought  you knew – then one day they just wake up as the worst nightmare you ever imagined…Just smile and know that you don’t lose anyone coz u own nobody …

But it’s true, people will make you believe what they want you to.. You never really know anyone… 
I once heard somebody say that people have three sides; the one you know, the one you don’t know and lastly, the one you never wanna know… 

So basically for me, I believe someone could put up a charade all their life being that sweet and charming person with the best personality and then one day, when all hell breaks loose… My! Oh my!!?! You’d be entirely shocked… But hey, that’s the beauty of it… 

Reason why you’d be disappointed when that happens is because… 

EXPECTATIONS!!!! -we have so many expectations in people…I mean, it’s like we’re always looking for people to blame our failures on… Sometimes we’re to blame, but we always want to extend our buggages of disappointment to others… 

See, people are like garbage trucks.. Haha, I know you’re wondering how! 

Well, they run around with garbage and they’re full of disappointment,full of frustration ,full of anger and when their garbage piles up,they look for a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you… But you know what??  Don’t take it PERSONAL ,Just wave and smile,wish them well and you move on..

Don’t let your garbage spread to the people at work ,at home or to the people in the streets ..love those who treat you right and pray for those who dont because life is 10% what you make it  and 90% how you take it…