“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, lemme walk upon the waters ,wherever you will call me.Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour ”
I’d never fathomed the depth of these words until today – humming this song as I went about my chores then it struck me that these are more than just words -its more than some good kick and snare beat,its more than just lyrics – but the resounding cry of a hungry and thirsty soul ..As a deer panteth for the waters in a dry and weary land..
For one,I didn’t know how to jot this done – after such a mega break of having to go through a writer’s block,but just when these words really sank deep into my heart – I undoubtedly knew I wouldn’t lack something – after all,there’s no formula in writing ,there’s no better way to say Hi to a heart that sees right through you. After all,I missed the cluttering of pages in my heart and mind and sleepless nights of trying to figure out what you wanted to hear next.Sorry for my silence – distance makes you yearn for the days and nights that only linger in your memory.
For some reason ,the lyrics of this song sounded unfamiliar today – bolder than I ever thought !Its like,you can actually feel this hunger and desperate desire to cling onto any reef that sweeps across the ocean.A desperate thirst that cannot be quenched by any other !And just when I realized that its more than a song – I found myself mumbling these words in prayer …Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders : beyond the borders of doubt ,mindsets ,fear and only then did I realize that its actually more than just telling God to have His way..Its us laying down our will at His feet in total surrender ,cancelling our plans and interests and seeking to follow right behind Him..its casting our nets back into the waters we spent a whole night fishing and caught nothing ,its setting up an altar of sacrifice without an offering and trusting that He’ll provide ,its refusing to give God that which costs us nothing just like David !Its refusing to offer to God only when its convenient for us ,its refusing to offer to God something we don’t have an attachment to…its living in the reality that all things work for the good of they that love him !Its paying up the price and learning that some things about God can only be learnt through suffering -when the grace doesn’t look gracious and things are taking a toll on us…
Lemme walk upon the waters – this reminded me of my fear of learning how to swim. I’m not really hydrophobic but I just can’t go under water – the thought of it getting into my nose and ears really frightens me ..and more than once I’ve found myself almost suggesting to God that if my time ever comes ,I shouldn’t die out of drowning or falling off a building (I’m acrophobic)or getting burnt to death ..those are my biggest fears and finding myself telling God to lemme walk upon the waters today ,resurfaced so many things I’m afraid of..Anyone who hasn’t been in water larger than the size of a bathtub can almost relate to what I’m saying …But the lord quickened me to His word Isaiah 43:2 – “ when you pass through the waters I will be with you and through the rivers ,they shall not overwhelm you ..” And this sort of gave me an assurance that whatever situation I have to walk through in life,there’ll be a hand to hold me through the darkest nights ..and honestly, walking through life alone is something most of us are afraid of ..walking through the loss of a loved one,a breakup, loss of a job, malignant diseases such as cancer -we all want people to tell us its gonna be okay ,but sometimes that’s never enough ..So,may we find Godfidence in the assurance that God gives us,that when oceans rise our souls can rest in His embrace ..
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour- for some reason this reminded me of the modern day superheroes..its like we all have a ferocious desire to help and save ourselves, look mighty and be the epitome of bravery and strength but at the end of the day ,truth is ,we’re all alittu broken and weak ;in need of a saviour..Often than not,we fail to acknowledge that..we pretend to have it all together and I’m not an exception to this ..Countless times I’ve found myself saying “i got this” while in real sense my insides are crumbling in despair and defeat..It only gets worse as time goes by until we can really admit that we’re in need of a saviour – way stronger than Superman ..To be rooted in the kind of love that is steadfast and better than life itself…
We are never okay when we pretend that hurt doesn’t hurt. Hurt always needs to be acknowledged and addressed. It doesn’t just disappear, no matter how deeply we bury it or how much we try to convince ourselves we’re okay in spite of it. When we fail to process our pain in a healthy way, it becomes ill-processed by default, deepening the damage of the original wound. That’s what happens when the unhealthy layers of denial under which we bury our hurt stand in the way of our wholeness.
And often than not,I’ve realized that for us to really go deeper is not a one day thing..its a series of being broken and moulded-God won’t break you and leave you broken!But if it means Him breaking you just to make you, He will.If it means Him wrecking your plans before they wreck you,be assured He will…and when all is said and done ,my most mind blowing lesson has been that God is looking for a High note of purity and transparency. For us to get deeper in God,our lives need to be laid at His feet in total surrender.
“God doesn’t promise us smooth sailing.Still waters run deep but that’s only true for waters that are confined to a certain place .Deepest waters like oceans and seas have constant waves and ripples that make them the opposite of still ;they’re the epitome of powerful .”